Daily Stuff 3-3-14 Aegir

Hi, folks!

Waffles_with_StrawberriesIt’s 53F, overcast at 400 feet, drippy, windy…. iow a good morning to curl up with a cup of coffee and strawberries (don’t have the waffles, drat….), and sleepily watch the trees thrashing in the wind. Even the birds are holed up, waiting for things to calm down before they start foraging. Right at the moment it’s very dark and water is streaming from the edges of the porch roof. 

motif plant herb Marjoram bundleYesterday was so busy that I never ate lunch until 4:30! Morning classes went well. We’re finally back in the classroom and that’s a better environment for learning than the sofa. After the young folks headed back to Job Corps, Tempus and I got busy on some herb crunching and I mended our wind chime that had come apart awhile back. It’s not pretty, but it’s functional and the sound is amazing. He’s going to put a bar up in the sign box to hang it.

OCPPG Logo 2014 thumbThe OCPPG staff people got there on time and we spent a good long while going through things. The next meeting is on the 29th. Right now we’re focusing on updating lists of info for the advertising and I’m looking for teachers. It looks like the track list is set up. We don’t have a lot in the activities track at the moment, but Leslie’s even got the list for the children’s activities filled in.

wax tabletAfter the meeting was done, before it, and every time it came up between, the historical re-creation types who were there were discussing wax tablets. We’ve got the pieces to make them except for the stylus part that you use to write. I’ve wanted one for decades and never wanted to spend the money to buy it, so we’re going to make a batch of them, both for household members and for gifts. These are a pre-paper form of notepad.

plant motif  big ole daisyDuring the evening, even though we wanted to turn in early we have to get some chores done around the house. We had an Italian chicken over rice for supper and turned in as soon as we could. I slept really soundly for once, sleeping from just past 10 until well after 8am! …and now I’m taking a few minutes to look at the pix of the Oscars dresses. You’d think, with all the money they spend, that they could get something that *looks* good!

weather Cloud WindToday we have inventory to work on. We’re really hoping to whomp through a large section of it. It’s supposed to be pretty messy weather, a good time to come in and browse through the books! My little light-sensitive candle didn’t flicker out until 9:10! It’s lightened up a lot, but raining just and hard and blowing even worse.

plant herb Equisetum_arvense_frToday’s plant is Field or Scouring Rush Horsetail http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Field_horsetail, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equisetum The darned things are next to impossible to get rid of, although they’re fascinating in construction and growth habit. In Oregon they’re a noxious weed, since, while the plants have been used as a poverty food (early spring) they can be toxic to grazing animals and are dangerous to people who retain fluid, although the Romans used it both as a tea and a thickening powder. It can be used as a polish and a dye. – Feminine, Saturn, Earth, This is best used in fertility mixtures, sachets, amulets, etc. Place in the bedroom for help in conception. Whistles made of horsetail stems are used in snake charming.

feast 0303 Daughters_of_ÆgirAegir is from the Norse pantheon. “Older than the giants”, he is a god of the sea, known for great parties, especially with ale brewed in a cauldron that has its own saga. He is brother to fire and wind and married to the Sea Goddess Ran. Between them they have 9 daughters who are the different types of waves. More here:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aegir

Ostara PentacleThe shop opens at 11am! Winter hours are 11am-5pm Thursday through Monday, although closing time is drifting later with the longer days. Need something off hours? Give us a call at 541-563-7154 or Facebook or email at ancientlight@peak.org If we’re supposed to be closed, but it looks like we’re there, try the door. If it’s open, the shop’s open! In case of bad weather, check here at the blog for updates, on our Facebook as Ancient Light, or call the shop.

Love & Light,
Anja

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Today’s Astro & Calendar

Dianas Bow MoonThe Moon is in Diana’s Bow. Waxing Moon Magick – The waxing moon is for constructive magick, such as love, wealth, success, courage, friendship, luck or healthy, protection, divination. Any working that needs extra power, such as help finding a new job or healings for serious conditions, can be done now. Also, love, knowledge, legal undertakings, money and dreams. Phase ends at the Full on 3/16 at 10:08am. Diana’s Bow – On the 3rd day after the new moon you can (weather permitting) see the tiny crescent in the sky, the New Moon holding the Old Moon in her arms. Begin on your goals for the next month. A good time for job interviews or starting a project. Take a concrete step! God/dess aspect: Daughter/Son/Innocence Associated God/dess: Vesta, Horus. Phase ends on 3/5 at Noon.

astro constellation AriesLook high above the Moon in the west after dark for the stars of Aries hanging almost vertically.
Astro marsMars (magnitude –0.5, in Virgo) rises around 9 or 10 p.m., a fiery blaze 6° to the left of icy Spica. The two of them are highest in the south around 2 or 3 a.m., with Spica now lower right of Mars.
In a telescope Mars has grown to about 12 arcseconds wide, on its way to an apparent diameter of 15.1″ when it passes closest by Earth in mid-April. See the telescopic Mars map and observing guide in the March Sky & Telescope, page 50. http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/newtrack/st_201403/
Astro StarThe supernova in M82 is still hanging in. Six week after its outburst began, it’s still about visual magnitude 11.7. And it’s reddening. Take another look while the evening sky is still moonless. See our updated article. http://www.skyandtelescope.com/observing/highlights/Bright-Supernova-in-M82-241477661.html

 Goddess Month of of Moura, runs from 2/20-3/19
Celtic Tree Month of Nuin/Nion/Ash, Feb 18 – Mar 17, Nion (NEE-uhn)
Runic half-month of Teiwaz/Tyr, 2/27-3/13 This is a time of positive regulation, sacrifice and hard work in order to progress.

Sun in PiscesSun in Pisces
Moon in AriesMoon in Aries
Mercury Stationary
Saturn, Mars, Vesta, Ceres and Jupiter Retrograde
Color: Ivory

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©2014 M. Bartlett, Some parts separately copyright

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nuin celtic tree month plant tree AshCeltic Tree Month of Nuin/Nion/Ash, Feb 18 – Mar 17, Nion (NEE-uhn), ash – the common ash (Fraxinus excelsior L.) is a major tree of lowland forests in much of Europe, along with oaks and beeches. It grows to 40 m (130 feet) in open sites, with a broad crown reminiscent of American elm trees. Ash was and still is an important timber tree, and is a traditional material for the handle of a besom. The common ash is occasionally cultivated in North America, and similar native ash species are widely grown as street trees. Ashes are members of the Olive family (Oleaceae).
Celtic tree month Ash NuinFraxinus_latifolia_JPG1FeNuin – Ash Ogam letter correspondences
Month: March
Color: Glass Green
Class: Cheiftain
Letter: N
Meaning: Locked into a chain of events; Feeling bound.
celtic tree month nuin oir spindleOgam letter correspondences to study this month Oir – Spindle
Month: None
Color: White
Class: Peasant
Letter: TH, OI
Meaning: Finish obligations and tasks or your life cannot move forward.

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WavesTides for Alsea Bay
Day        High      Tide  Height   Sunrise    Moon  Time      % Moon
~           /Low      Time    Feet    Sunset                                    Visible
M    3     High   1:35 AM     8.6   6:50 AM    Rise  7:54 AM      3
     3      Low   7:52 AM     0.2   6:07 PM     Set  9:25 PM
     3     High   1:53 PM     8.1
     3      Low   8:04 PM     0.4

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Affirmation/Thought for the Day – Listen to Old People!

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Newsletter Journal PromptJournal Prompt – What do you think? – Why do you think so many young people watch MTV?

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Quotes

~  Life is like a mirror, we get the best results when we smile at it. – Unknown
~  We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. – Aristotle
~  Character builds slowly, but it can be torn down with incredible swiftness. – Faith Baldwin (1893-1978) US writer
~  The truth, the absolute truth, is that the chief beauty for the theatre consists in fine bodily proportions. – Sarah Bernhardt (1844-1923) French actor

Give us, O give us, the man who sings at his work! Be his occupation what it may, he is equal to any of those who follow the same pursuit in silent sullenness. He will do more in the same time — he will do it better, he will persevere longer. One is scarcely sensible of fatigue whilst he marches to music. – Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) Scottish Writer

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ostara sabbat egg divider

Ostara Magick – Coloring Springtime Eggs With Natural Dyes – http://www.dld123.com/about/about.php?id=A11 Debra Lynn Dadd

Spring is the time for the celebration of eggs, for, even though we are able buy eggs year-round in the supermarket, in Nature eggs are seasonal. The eggs that we eat today are mostly from domesticated birds, but for thousands of years people collected eggs from the wild for food. Before 1900, wild bird eggs were on the menu in restaurants. In the wild, birds and other animals lay eggs only during the time of year when the weather is such that the hatched babies can survive. So there are no eggs in winter, and eggs are then again plentiful with the coming of Spring.

I first became aware of the seasonality of eggs when I visited a neighbor who raises chickens. She told me that her chickens require 14 hours of sunlight to lay eggs and that commercial eggs in the wintertime come from chickens raised under electric lights. Hens naturally have an ongoing urge to lay eggs from spring to fall, when they lose their feathers. Then they wait through the winter until 14 hours of sunlight return in the spring. Of course, depending on where in the world these chickens are, the actual date the 14 hours or more of sunlight begins and ends is different from place to place. Even though eggs are available in the supermarket all year long, in the scheme of Nature, our bodies really are not designed to eat them every day.

She also told me that hens start laying eggs at about six months of age, which in hen-years is equivalent to our human adolescence. And they lay at a rate that is considered “productive” by the egg industry for about a year. As the hen gets older, she produces fewer and fewer eggs, but they are larger.

Celebrating spring with eggs

Though Easter, as a holiday, is the Christian celebration of Christ’s new life after crucifixion, its origin and customs are much older. Since the beginning of our species, humankind has celebrated the new life of Spring, particularly in parts of the world where winters are cold and food is scarce.

Indeed, the very word for the season — Spring — describes the action of Nature at this time. The origin of “spring” goes back to the Old High German springan, which means to jump and perhaps to the Greek sperchesthai, which means to hasten. Spring certainly is the time when plant seedlings and baby animals hasten to jump out into existence. A spring is a source of water issuing from the ground, a coiled wire that jumps back into it’s original size after being depressed, an act or an instance of leaping up or forward, a quality of resilience. To spring is to come into being, to leap or jump up suddenly.

And so Spring is about newness, and in particular, about new life leaping forth once again, making the egg–which is the embodiment of new life itself–the perfect symbol of Spring.

Though we may today celebrate the egg as a symbol of rebirth in forms ranging from the most popular–chocolate–to the most expensive–encrusted with diamonds–using the actual egg itself for our spring celebrations restores this symbol to it’s original form in Nature.

The tradition of coloring eggs

The tradition of coloring eggs for springtime celebrations has deep roots in ancient times. It might have begun with the gathering of wild eggs of different natural colors in the spring. Although many eggs are naturally white, eggs of almost every color of the rainbow are known. As animals were domesticated and more white chicken eggs were eaten, it may have then become the custom to dye the white chicken eggs to look like the colored eggs of wild birds.

Colored eggs were given as gifts by the ancient Greeks, Persians, and Chinese at their spring festivals, and used by early Christians as a symbol of Jesus’ Resurrection. As early as the Middle Ages, eggs were colored and given as gifts at the Christian celebration. After being forbidden during the solemn fast of Lent, eggs were reintroduced on Easter Sunday, both as part of the feasting and as gifts for family, friends, and servants.

Though nowadays most people color their eggs with egg kits that contain dyes made from petrochemicals, for millennia eggs were colored with plant materials found in Nature. Barks, roots, and leaves from many plants produce beautiful natural dyes.

Coloring eggs provides an opportunity to experiment with plant materials that grow in your region — perhaps even in your own backyard. If coloring eggs is an activity you enjoy, consider keeping a scrapbook from year to year that documents the dyestuff used and the colors it produced. Books on natural dyes for fabrics can give you clues for dyes for eggs.

In addition to coloring eggs with natural colors, you can decorate your eggs to look like bird eggs. Eggshells are often intricately marked with blotches, scrawls, streaks or speckles, generally concentrated in a ring around the large end of the egg. You can make eggs with your own “bird” speckles, or make eggs that celebrate the eggs of actual birds that live in your area.

This is a good opportunity to learn about your local birds and what their eggs look like. For some pictures of bird eggs, visit the The Provincial Museum of Alberta, which has an on-line field guide with over 300 egg images and the birds they become. In addition, they have a fascinating explanation about how and why eggs have different shapes, colors, and speckle patterns.

How to color eggs with natural dyestuffs

Here’s how to color eggs with some plant-based dyes you probably already have in your kitchen. I have been delighted with the results of the colors I have tried and my friends have been thrilled to receive them as springtime gifts. The colors are very unusual — gentle, earthy, soft, and very vibrant, without being harsh like the artificial dyes — and when I tell people the colors come from plant dyes, they always want to know the origin of each color.

Directions:

NOTE: When coloring eggs with natural dyestuffs, the eggs are cooked and colored at the same time, in contrast to coloring with using an artificial dye kit, which requires cooking the eggs prior to coloring.

  1. Put raw, white-shelled, organically-raised eggs in a single layer in a pan. Cover with cold water.
  2. Add a little more than a teaspoon of white vinegar.
  3. Add the natural dyestuff for the color you want your eggs to be. (The more eggs you are dying at a time, the more dye you will need to use, and the more dye you use, the darker the color will be.)
  4. Bring water to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes.
  5. Quickly check the eggs for color by removing them from the dye liquid with a slotted spoon.

If the color is as desired, pour off the hot dye liquid and rinse them immediately in cold water to stop the eggs from cooking. Continue to change the water until it stays cool in the pot because the eggs are no longer releasing heat. Drain and allow eggs to cool in the refrigerator.

If you wish a deeper color, strain the hot dye liquid into a container, then rinse the eggs immediately in cold water to stop them from cooking. Continue to change the water until it stays cool in the pot because the eggs are no longer releasing heat. Drain the last of the cold water, then cover the eggs with the strained dye liquid. Add more water if necessary so that the eggs are completely covered. Put into the refrigerator immediately and keep eggs in the refrigerator until the desired shade is achieved. Overnight is good. Longer than about twelve hours some of the colors just get muddier instead of deeper, and the lighter shades are more vibrant.

  1. Remove the dyestuff you used to color the eggs.

Red – Pink — Recommended but I haven’t yet tried: lots of red onion skins, cranberry juice, or frozen raspberries.

Orange — Yellow onion skins will dye to a deep orange right in the dye pot. Use the skins of two medium onions for four eggs.

Brown — Red beet skins make a beautiful mahogany brown. Roast fresh beets at 350 degrees until soft (about one to two hours, depending on size). Peel off the skin and about 1/8″ of the beet. Reserve beets for eating (they are delicious roasted!) and add the skins to the dye pot. Use about one egg-size beet per egg. Allow to soak overnight. Grape juice produces a beautiful sparkling tan (I think the sparkles are from the high sugar content of the grape juice–this is one of my favorites!) Also recommended but I haven’t yet tried: coffee.

Yellow — Saffron makes a bright yellow when eggs are soaked overnight. Use about 1/4 teaspoon saffron threads for four eggs. Recommended but I haven’t yet tried: tumeric or cumin, orange or lemon peels, or celery seed.

Green — Recommended but I haven’t yet tried: spinach. Carrot tops and peels from Yellow Delicious apples produced a yellow-green.

Blue — Red cabbage leaves make the most incredible robin’s-egg blue. Use about a quarter of a medium head of cabbage, chopped, for four eggs. After the 15 minutes of boiling, the eggs are still almost white, but after soaking the eggs in the dye liquid for about six hours, they turn very blue. Frozen blueberries produce a kind of steel-grey-blue right in the cooking pot. Use 1 cup blueberries for four eggs.

Deep Purple — Red wine makes a beautiful burgundy color right in the cooking pot. Cover the eggs completely with undiluted red wine, and add the vinegar right to the wine. Recommended but I haven’t yet tried: hibiscus tea.

Tips for successful results:

  • Use filtered or distilled water. Chlorine and other chemicals will work against the dye, making it less intense. Buy distilled water or use your own filtered water.
  • For deeper colors, use more dyestuff or let the eggs soak longer.
  • For even coverage, cook eggs in a pot large enough to hold enough water and dyestuff to completely cover the eggs, even after some of the liquid has evaporated during the 15 minute of boiling.
  • Again, for even coverage, if you continue to soak the eggs in the refrigerator after cooking, make sure the eggs are completely covered with the dye liquid.
  • Blot the eggs dry or allow them to air dry, as for some colors the dye will rub off while still wet. On the other hand, if you wish to make a white pattern on the egg, you can rub off some of the dye for some colors immediately after cooking.
  • Make sure eggs of different colors are completely dry before piling them up in a bowl together, as wet dye from one egg can transfer to another.

Cold-dipped Egg Dyes

A few years ago, Martha Stewart recommended some recipes for natural easter egg dyes that are no longer on her website. Since I can’t link to them, here they are.

Martha suggests making dyes separately, then soaking boiled eggs for various periods of time to achieve the desired colors. Eggs can be soaked in more than one dye to acheive desired colors.

Select your dyestuff and place it in a pot, using the amounts given below.

  • Red-cabbage dye: 4 cups chopped
  • Turmeric (a spice) dye: 3 tablespoons
  • Yellow onion-skin dye: 4 cups (skins of about 12 onions)
  • Beet dye: 4 cups chopped
  • Coffee dye: 1 quart strong black

Add 1 quart of water and 2 tablespoons white vinegar to the pot. If more water is needed to cover ingredients, add more vinegar proportionally. Bring to a boil and lower then lower heat and simmer for 30 minutes. Strain the dye into a bowl and allow to cool to room temperature.

  • Pale Yellow: Soak eggs in turmeric dye for 30 minutes.
  • Orange: Soak eggs in onion-skin dye for 30 minutes.
  • Light Brown: Soak eggs in black coffee dye for 30 minutes.
  • Light pink: Soak eggs in beet dye for 30 minutes.
  • Light blue: Soak eggs in cabbage dye for 30 minutes.
  • Royal blue: Soak eggs in cabbage dye overnight.
  • Lavender: Soak eggs in turmeric dye for 30 minutes, then cabbage dye for 30 minutes.
  • Chartreuse: Soak eggs in turmeric dye for 30 minutes, then beet dye for 5 seconds.
  • Salmon: Soak eggs in turmeric dye for 30 minutes, then beet dye for 30 minutes.

For more natural egg dye ideas, see

BACK TO DEBRA’S LIST: Food

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motif Silliness SmilieSilliness – 

CUAgain Bringing a 1959 44′ Steel Phillip Rhodes MotorSailor Back to Life

Neighborhood Hazard (or: Why the Cops Won’t Patrol Brice Street)

I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous!

Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second, and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for both groups too.

Occasionally, as a rider I have caught myself starting to make bad or late decisions while riding. In flight training, my instructors called this being “behind the power curve”. It is a mark of experience that when this begins to happen, the rider recognizes the situation, and more importantly, does something about it. A short break, a meal, or even a gas stop can set things right again as it gives the brain a chance to catch up.

Good, accurate, and timely decisions are essential when riding a motorcycle…at least if you want to remain among the living. In short, the brain needs to keep up with the machine.

I had been banging around the roads of east Texas and as I headed back into Dallas, found myself in very heavy, high-speed traffic on the freeways. Normally, this is not a problem, I commute in these conditions daily, but suddenly I was nearly run down by a cage that decided it needed my lane more than I did. This is not normally a big deal either, as it happens around here often, but usually I can accurately predict which drivers are not paying attention and avoid them before we are even close. This one I missed seeing until it was nearly too late, and as I took evasive action I nearly broadsided another car that I was not even aware was there!

Two bad decisions and insufficient situational awareness…all within seconds. I was behind the power curve. Time to get off the freeway.

I hit the next exit, and as I was in an area I knew pretty well, headed through a few big residential neighborhoods as a new route home. As I turned onto the nearly empty streets I opened the visor on my full-face helmet to help get some air. I figured some slow riding through the quiet surface streets would give me time to relax, think, and regain that “edge” so frequently required when riding.

Little did I suspect…

As I passed an oncoming car, a brown furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me. It was a squirrel, and must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it—it was that close.

I hate to run over animals…and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me. I barely had time to brace for the impact.

Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels can take care of themselves!

Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing the oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his little beady eyes. His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt! I am pretty sure the scream was squirrel for, “Banzai!” or maybe, “Die you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!” as the leap was spectacular and he flew over the windshield and impacted me squarely in the chest.

Instantly he set upon me. If I did not know better I would have sworn he brought twenty of his little buddies along for the attack. Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light t-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!

Picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and leather gloves puttering maybe 25mph down a quiet residential street…and in the fight of his life with a squirrel. And losing.

I grabbed for him with my left hand and managed to snag his tail. With all my strength I flung the evil rodent off the left of the bike, almost running into the right curb as I recoiled from the throw.

That should have done it. The matter should have ended right there. It really should have. The squirrel could have sailed into one of the pristinely kept yards and gone on about his business, and I could have headed home. No one would have been the wiser.

But this was no ordinary squirrel. This was not even an ordinary pissed-off squirrel.

This was an evil attack squirrel of death!

Somehow he caught my gloved finger with one of his little hands, and with the force of the throw swung around and with a resounding thump and an amazing impact he landed square on my back and resumed his rather anti-social and extremely distracting activities. He also managed to take my left glove with him!

The situation was not improved. Not improved at all. His attacks were continuing, and now I could not reach him.

I was startled to say the least. The combination of the force of the throw, only having one hand (the throttle hand) on the handlebars, and my jerking back unfortunately put a healthy twist through my right hand and into the throttle. A healthy twist on the throttle of a Valkyrie can only have one result. Torque. This is what the Valkyrie is made for, and she is very, very good at it.

The engine roared as the front wheel left the pavement. The squirrel screamed in anger. The Valkyrie screamed in ecstasy. I screamed in…well…I just plain screamed.

Now picture a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a slightly squirrel torn t-shirt, and only one leather glove roaring at maybe 70mph and rapidly accelerating down a quiet residential street…on one wheel and with a demonic squirrel on his back. The man and the squirrel are both screaming bloody murder.

With the sudden acceleration I was forced to put my other hand back on the handlebars and try to get control of the bike. This was leaving the mutant squirrel to his own devices, but I really did not want to crash into somebody’s tree, house, or parked car. Also, I had not yet figured out how to release the throttle…my brain was just simply overloaded. I did manage to mash the back brake, but it had little affect against the massive power of the big cruiser.

About this time the squirrel decided that I was not paying sufficient attention to this very serious battle (maybe he is a Scottish attack squirrel of death), and he came around my neck and got IN my full-face helmet with me. As the faceplate closed partway and he began hissing in my face I am quite sure my screaming changed tone and intensity. It seemed to have little affect on the squirrel however.

The rpm’s on The Dragon maxed out (I was not concerned about shifting at the moment) and her front end started to drop.

Now picture the large man on the huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a very ragged torn t-shirt, and wearing one leather glove, roaring at probably 80mph, still on one wheel, with a large puffy squirrel’s tail sticking out his mostly closed full-face helmet. By now the screams are probably getting a little hoarse.

Finally I got the upper hand…I managed to grab his tail again, pulled him out of my helmet, and slung him to the left as hard as I could. This time it worked…sort-of. Spectacularly sort-of, so to speak.

Picture the scene. You are a cop. You and your partner have pulled off on a quiet residential street and parked with your windows down to do some paperwork.

Suddenly a large man on a huge black and chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a torn t-shirt flapping in the breeze, and wearing one leather glove, moving at probably 80mph on one wheel, and screaming bloody murder roars by and with all his strength throws a live squirrel grenade directly into your police car.

I heard screams. They weren’t mine…

I managed to get the big motorcycle under directional control and dropped the front wheel to the ground. I then used maximum braking and skidded to a stop in a cloud of tire smoke at the stop sign at a busy cross street.

I would have returned to fess up (and to get my glove back). I really would have. Really. But for two things. First, the cops did not seem interested or the slightest bit concerned about me at the moment. One of them was on his back in the front yard of the house they had been parked in front of and was rapidly crabbing backwards away from the patrol car. The other was standing in the street and was training a riot shotgun on the police cruiser.

So the cops were not interested in me. They often insist to “let the professionals handle it” anyway. That was one thing. The other? Well, I swear I could see the squirrel, standing in the back window of the patrol car among shredded and flying pieces of foam and upholstery, and shaking his little fist at me. I think he was shooting me the finger…

That is one dangerous squirrel. And now he has a patrol car…

I took a deep breath, turned on my turn-signal, made an easy right turn, and sedately left the neighborhood.

As for my easy and slow drive home? Screw it. Faced with a choice of 80mph cars and inattentive drivers, or the evil, demonic, attack squirrel of death…I’ll take my chances with the freeway. Every time.

And I’ll buy myself a new pair of gloves.

CUAgain,
Daniel Meyer

From: MIMALLONES   11:09 am  To LadyLark   11650.26 in reply to 11650.1

I also have have an evil squirrel story.

My mom lives in the mountains and was painting a mural on a fence around a pool for her friend when a squirrel decided he did not like trespassers in his yard. Every time anyone was in the yard he would chuck pine cones at the trespassers head. He did not half heartedly toss the cones into the yard, he launched them. He through the cones so hard they punctured the pool cover.

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